Rediscovering the Power of Shared Spaces

We have become so precious with our time.

I’m a deep practitioner of constant self improvement, and I really try to make my 24 hours work more like 48. Within that time its important for me to maintain my health, read books, write, and build and deepen my social connections. Usually pairing some of those at the same time. Of course, I need to get all my work done too.

As I meet new people, there is a trend when I ask to meet for a coffee (always around a specific agenda), and thats the reply “let’s meet virtually to start.”

There is a new fear around having to go out and meet with someone that I didn’t experience in the pre-pandemic world. If this was driven by health concerns or the spread of covid, I’d be less worried. But from so many conversations its clear that someone doesn’t want to “waste” the time coming out to meet me if they find out they don’t like me that much over a virtual intro. Their time is too precious to spend commuting.

Over the last week, a particular article has gone viral. Its been re-produced by nearly every news outlet. This article makes a scientific case for the need for commutes.

Against popular opinion, I am on the article’s side. I think transitions and the “liminal space” spoken about in the article are critical for large context switches and help balance energy levels. But more important than the commute for me is the value of the destination.

The adverse reactions to the article show something profound. Beyond whether or not commutes serve a purpose, employees are no longer willing to travel for work. Whether thats to the office a couple of times a week, or to meet someone in their network for breakfast, commutes are viewed as a waste of time.

I argue commutes should viewed as an investment or cost of entry for more valuable in-person time.

Office As Identity In 2023

Chairs and desks, lights, conference rooms, common spaces, everything that goes into these areas in a physical office. When we used to all co-work in person, there was a common environment that we shared. It was the strangest form of identity, a true de-selfing. A space we didn’t control, but that we still went into every day.

In our home offices many of us are more comfortable than we could ever be elsewhere. We have all our stuff. So our identities as individuals are even more strongly enforced. Its “fun” to see how our colleagues live, get glimpses into their homes, or see what they choose for a virtual background. But what we have lost is the identity of space itself.

When I worked at Huge Inc, the conference rooms were all named after notable celebrities. When an emergency was happening and you needed to get a bunch of people into a room, it meant something geographically to ask a group of engineers to meet in Beyoncé in 20 minutes. When the coffee well ran dry, we all shared in the misery of waiting 10 minutes for it to brew.

The chic concrete, well chosen wood tones, endless coffee and snacks, and all present greenery was the n+1th employee. The space itself was a member of the team, and essential actor in the cast. Being in a conference room together was oddly unifying, not just by being together, but by not being in our own individually curated spaces.

The virtual meetups, Grubhub credits, Amazon gift cards, and other tools we've deployed since leaving the office are certainly enjoyable, but they are transient in terms of fostering a sense of connection.

How To Unify Our Spaces

One day in the city, a few of my team members and myself went plant shopping. For the next several months we checked in with each other to see if the plants we bought together were still alive.

One evening with my team, we all come together over Google Meet to make pottery for our desks at home. We showed them off to other teams for almost a year.

The plants we bought together and the mis-shapen pen holders on our desks well transcended themselves. They became points of identity for us. I couldn’t look at the Philodendron Pink Princess or the lop-sided pink and green cylinder without feeling like I was a part of a group. I know from conversations that the rest of my team felt the same.

In a world fueled by the popularity of transient experiences, objects still matter. They tie into our memories and serve as anchors back to moments that matter to us. Truly, artifacts.

As a leader you are responsible for your team feeling connected to the company and a major component of that is a team identity. This can come in the form of the company’s branding, but its difficult for that to draw deep emotional connections for most startups. Some methods I have found useful include:

1. Crafting experiences for employees to make things together, or allowing them to group purchase/obtain trinkets that are always present allows for there to be visual at home anchors for employees.

2. Team names (for sub-teams within an organization) form identity and help foster virtual space. A scrum team within my org chart once gave themselves the name Disco. No office furniture or chairs needed, just a slack channel, and you could feel the vibe of their team.

3. Group photos may sound tacky, but they are super real. Sometimes a space is a moment. Take the photo, get it printed and send it to everyone in it. I still talk to the people in one snapshot I have of us in front of our company’s Times Square billboard.

Of course there are many ways to make us feel connected even when not speaking and working independently at home. Maybe you have thought of some novel ways I didn’t mention?

Eating Together

A book I’m currently working through is the well known Never Eat Alone, which suffers from an overly specific title. Its actually a broad and very valuable text on how to build and maintain a network of high-value contacts and people.

Mentioned in many examples throughout the book is the need to meet people in person. Whether at a networking event (specifically anything BUT a job-seekers event), coffee, drinks, or dinners you host, being in-person adds value by allowing each other to pick up on body language and other non-verbal cues.

I know that being in-person also creates a mutual context and mutually captive moment. Are you really going to leave when I’m only half done eating my 5 fried eggs and bowl of pinto beans?

The new unease with in-person networking has led us to lose a lot of the moments for non-verbal interaction and banter, but its wholly removed serendipity. I have mentees, friends, colleagues and even my own wife as people in my life that I met because we found each other at some group event. None of them were the speakers or headliners, they were just members of the audience. Like me.

Running into new people when you go to see someone else or attend an event that aren’t the ones in the spotlight has died in the virtual world.

Leaning into the “Never Eat Alone” title, the titular chapter of the book talks about how restaurateurs are a major network value-add as they can make introductions as you get to know them. I’ve personally experienced this.

I’m also a person who drags everyone they know out to diners early in the morning for breakfast. The comfort of a nice public space where you are taken care of as family because of your regular patronage sets a very different tone as you meet with someone. Ceasar, my regular morning server, knows my breakfast order, and is on top of it if I have a guest. When in-person interactions go smoothly and are well taken care of, there is a level of comfort that is less adversarial than a one-on-one camera setting.

Wrapping It Up

I like going into the office, but I’m not an advocate for a full return to office world. Being remote or hybrid has allowed for better staffing and better products. Global teams have changed everything, and they have changed it for the better.

We have however lost our sense of unity and our sense of “office” and togetherness. These concepts can be decoupled from co-working in person, but its going to take intent.

Harnessing the power of shared spaces, moments and memory anchors can not only lead to more productive and engaged employees, but it can also drive increased innovation, better collaboration and stronger team bonds within your organization.